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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS,! 



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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. )R 



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OF 



MA J. JOSEPH HOWARD. 



AN 



«It!(EM m&w 



THIETY-EIGHr YEARS OF AGE, THIRTY-SIX jp 
INCHES HIGH, AND SEVENTY-TWO 
POUNDS IN WEIGHT. 



WRITTEN m HIMSELF. 



PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOU. 

1855. 



. 



LIFE 



o» 



MAJ. JOSEPH HOWARD, 



AN 



AMERICAN DWARF. 



THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS OF AGE, THIRTY-SIX 

INCHES HIGH, AND SEVENTY-TWO 

POUNDS IN WEIGHT. 



WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 









r 



LIFE 



OF 



MAJ. JOSEPH HOWARD, 



AN 



AMERICAN DWARF. 



My Grandfather originated in Lynn, in the glorious 

Commonwealth of Massachusetts. He was of English 

descent, of respectable family. How near the throne of 

that Kingdom his blood might be traced, I never took the 

trouble to inquire ; and, indeed, it never entered my head 

that the possession of royal blood, much or little, did 

much for a man : or that one line of ancestry was not as 

good as another, so far as relations are concerned. 

Brought up with all the notions' of a genuine Yankee, 

as it respects these matters, and in the behalf, as Dr. 

Watts has it, 

1 i It is the mind that makes the man ; " 

I have been easy under the conviction that the blood 
of my family has not 

" Crept through scoundrels ever since the flood." 

Thomas Howard, my grandfather, came to the then 
1* (5) 



District of Maine, when the spot now called Bangor was 
a howling wilderness, and was occupied by the wild 
savages as their hunting ground. It was about the year 
1771 that he first set his foot upon the shores of the Pe- 
nobscot river, having with him a wife and one child of 
about one year of age. In company with him were five 
or six families, immigrating to the then farthest Penob- 
scot, for the purpose of taking up farms in a new coun- 
try, and to suffer its privations and endure its dangers, 
if thereby they might win for themselves and their pos- 
terity, a comfortable independence, and a home. 

As my grandfather was a seafaring man, he was not 
very particular in the selection of his lot, but set him- 
self down on tke first unoccupied place he found, hav- 
ing a view of, and bordering on the riter. It turned out, 
however, that his hap-hazard choice proved as good and 
pleasant a lot as any in the town : and it was often re- 
marked by strangers, that his farm was in a beautiful 
location. 

Soon after these pilgrims in search of a home, had 
landed, they set jibout the erection of a log hut for their 
residence. My Grandfather had scarcely settled him- 
self and family in his new abode, and ardently anticipat- 
ing further improvements, when war, that scourge and 
curse of mankind, broke out, and added to the hardships 
and difficulties of a new country. To his acquaintance 
with the sea, my Grandfather added a knowledge of the 
trade of s Cooper, which was a benefit to him in hit new 



home, where he was required to bring all his resources 
of body and of mind, to the support of his family. 
His pursuits often compelled him to leave his little fam- 
ily to the tender mercies of the Indians. But, on the 
whole, they proved generally, to be good neighbors. 

At the age of seventeen years, my grandfather en- 
gaged in public service in the army, in the French and 
Indian war. He marched through to Quebec, and while 
on the route an officer rode up, tapping him familiarly 
on the shoulder, and told him to throw away his luggage, 
as he was but a mere boy, and nearly exhausted, and 
assured him that he should have enough at Quebec. 
He was taken prisoner and carried to Halifax, a 
prisoner of war, where he remained until the conclusion 
of peace. 

The second child to which my grandmother gave 
birth, was the first white child born within the limits of 
Bangor, and she lived to see the little rural spot grow 
to be a city with its fourteen thousand inhabitants, its 
numerous dwellings, its churches and other public 
buildings, its civilization and refinement. She had seen 
the children of poverty and rags become men of 
influence and wealth. She had seen the wealthy be- 
come poor, and village aristocracies rise and fall — fly 
and creep. It is only a few years since she passed the 
portals of death to a bright inheritance in heaven. 

I have, when a child, listened with intense interest to 
the relation of many stories of my grandparents, relative 



8 

o their intercourse with the Indians. The following now 
occurs to my mind : 

One room in the house was occupied as a shop, in 
which my grandfather made kegs for the Indians, and 
this drew many of them to his house. They would often 
ask to be allowed to spend the night in the shop, and the 
request was usually granted. 

One night a party of them stopped there, and they be* 
came rather merry and noisy, when grandmother stepped 
in to see what was going on in the camp. She discov- 
ered a lusty San op, having another one down, his knees 
upon his shoulders, and one hand twisted into a lock of 
long hair, left to grow on the top of the head, in order to 
show fair play in a fight, and the other hand fast hold of 
his chin, and twisting his head with all his might, mak- 
ing his neck snap and crack at a great rate ; while the 
suffering Indian was making the most bitter and pier- 
cing groans. The floor was covered with molasses and 
ashes. In one corner sat an old squaw, as calm as a sum- 
mer morning, regaling herself on rice ana molasses, pre- 
pared for the party's evening meal. The squaw looked 
up at grandmother, and said, 

a Dat berry good fight, sister." 

An alarm was sounded, and grandfather went in, 
flourishing his ponderous, rusty sword, and commanded 
silence and peace, and the fighting ceased. 

Grandmother was often left for months with only her 
little children around her, and no neighbors within call, 



9 

her husband being absent at sea. But she was a woman 
of extraordinary courage, firmness, self reliance and per- 
severance. She was from Woolwich, in this state, of 
Irish descent. Her father was a large farmer, and she 
was well acquainted with farming life, in the barn 
and field, as well as in the house ; and as soon as she 
could get a little help from the children, she superin- 
tended the farm, and caused it to yield the most of the 
support of the family. She had nine children, and 
among them only three boys, Thomas, David and John. 

Thomas died at sea when a young man. David and 
John were farmers, and the farm was divided between 
them, David having one third of it, and John having two 
thirds- the latter coming under obligations to support 
his parents, and to set out his sisters on their marriage. 

John was the father of the writer, and the subject of 
this sketch. I was the third child ) the two older were 
girls. I was born on the seventh day of April, A. D. 
1815. 

My first recollection of any thing worthy of special 
notice, transpiring in our household, was the marriage of 
a cousin, who had resided for some time in our family. 
I was then about four years of age, and I very distinctly 
recollect the company, the ceremony and the convivial- 
ity of the occasion. I did not comprehend the result 
until the parting scene took place. This cousin was 
known by me only as a sister, who was ever devot- 
ed to my every wish. It was hard to part with one 



10 

whose affections had become a part of home, and gild- 
ed every joy, and soothed in every sorrow. Her depart- 
Vxe to make a new home attractive was to me a ham 
•sacrifice. 

Until I was six years of age, I was the youngest of 
tne family, and was petted and privileged as such. 

A little steer yoke, which my father had made when 
only ten years of age, was the reward I received for 
sleeping in the chamber with the boys. It was to me of 
surpassing value, and was highly prized for long years 
afterwards. 

One of my greatest pleasures and strongest desires 
Was to ride, and for this I was willing to submit to any 
inconvenience. When about eight years of age, my 
love of riding caused me to tax my ingenuity for an in- 
dulgence in the pleasure. One Sabbath morning, about 
this time, old Kate was harnessed into the ample car- 
riage, for the purpose of taking the family to meeting. 
As usual on such occasions, I was on hand, when the 
thought popped into my head that here was a chance for 
a ride. No sooner thought than done, for on finding the 
coast clear, I at once stowed myself into the wagon 
box, without stopping to consider of the unfitness of my 
every day dress, my bare head, and shirt soiled by a 
week's wear. After a while, and it seemed a long time 
to me, the family took their seats and drove off to church, 
without suspecting the precious freight of live stoek they 
nad on board* The family were all landed at the meet- 



II 

ing hoase, the horse tied to a post ; and my father, glan- 
cing at the carriage to see that all was right, discovered 
a chisel that I had thrown out of the box, as likely to be 
in my way. He took the chisel for the purpose of throw- 
ing it into the box : but as he lifted the cover of the box, 
I popped up my head, and came near being marked with 
the edge of a chisel in one of my eyes ! He started 
back in astonishment. My hair was uncombed, my 
shirt unchanged, my dress far from clean, and to crown 
all, I was well powdered with the dust stirred up in the 
box, which I had literally stuffed with my body. 

"How upon earth came you here?" exclaimed my 
father. 

" I got in to have a ride," I replied, H and now Fll go 
to meeting." 

" No you won't ; " said he, " look at your clothes : see 
the dirt : you don't look fit. Get back into the box again, 
and you shall go home the same way you chose to come." 

Back into the box I crept, and had another dark ride 
home. 

My absence had occasioned alarm at home, and search 
had been made for me in every part of the premises, 
and a messenger was about starting to inform my father 
of the loss, when the wagon returned, and the lost was 
found. 

My father's house acquired the appellation of "Me/h- 
odist Hotel," as he continued the practice adopted by 
his father ; of always affording comfortable quarters to 



12 

the itinerant ministers of the Methodist church, of 
which he was a zealous member. Here every Metho- 
dist minister and brother was sure to find a ready wel- 
come, and the best the place afforded for refreshment 
and repose. 

Affairs connected with the building of one of the 
meeting houses, which involved my father in numerous 
perplexities, cast a shadow over his declining years, and 
caused him to go sorrowing to his grave. 

During a portion of my childhood, the Indians often 
encamped near my father's dwelling, and I have often 
spent days with the young Indians, in sliding and other 
sports. They always treated me as a favorite, and would 
haul me up the hill in merry glee. At times I would 
spend an evening with them in their camps, in listening 
to their stories, and engaging in their social frolics, and 
their simple pastimes. These occasions have imprinted 
upon my mind many pleasing associations, which I de- 
light to recall. 

My mother died when I was ten years of age. It was 
the first time death had entered our family, and broken 
our charmed circle. The sorrow of the sad event 
whelmed all our hearts in grief and despondency. We 
were told that one so good, so devoted, and whose life 
had been filled with a faithful discharge of kindly of- 
fices, in promoting the happiness of others, could not but 
find in the death of the body, a birth of the spirit into a 
higher and better world, even a heavenly. The ex- 



13 

"pression of affection which shone in her mild blue eyes, 
.is deeply imprinted on my memory. Her love is cher- 
ished in my heart. I can never forget her, nor feel 
otherwise than that her spirit is near me as a heavenly 
guardian, and her sweet influence around my heart. 
The presence of my grandmother in the family, served 
to lessen greatly the loss of my mother, and to supply in 
part her watchful eye and attentive ear, her ready hand 
and willing feet. 

In about a year after the death of my mother, a change 
was wrought in our family, by my father's marrying 
again, a widow woman of energy, piety and experience, 
and bringing her to our home, with three of her chil- 
dren. The event was one of joy to us all. The mar- 
riage was a happy one, and the two families thus made 
one, found the happiness of both increased. 

We had an old loom standing in one of the chambers, 
where it had been from my earliest recollection, and this 
was now given up to us boys, as our mother had a better 
loom to take its place. This was to iis a great treasure, 
and we took the frame and boarded it, and with broken 
bricks and moistened clay built a chimney, and thus 
made us quite an attractive hut, and in it we spent many 
happy hours in keeping house, and in childish sports. 
Many hours have I spent in that hut alone, while the 
other children were at school, for my disability was such 
that it was not thought necessary that I should undergo 
the fatigue of making the journey of half a mile to 



14 



school, except in the summer time, and pleasant weatn- 
er, when the boys would haul me in my little wagon 
Whe + h°r +o go to school or not was left to my own choice. 

Our school house was situated in a romantic spot, on 
the bank of the noble Penobscot; and near by was a 
cove with a fine pebbly shore, and thither we often re- 
sorted for sailing in a boat, or upon a slab, or for other 
sports. The water always seemed pleasant to me in my 
boyish days. I have often longed for the ability to en- 
gage in seafaring life, and to spend my time on the deep 
blue sea. 

One autumn evening a large party of the children of 
the neighborhood was on a visit to my cousin, and on 
coming out of the house in a frolicsome mood, we saw 
at a distance a dim light by the roadside, upon a large 
stump. Some of the larger boys approached it first, and 
as we came nearer to it, I discovered the appearance of 
a face of fire, which gave me a great fright and the way 
I went home was a caution. In my fright I fancied that 
the Jack-o-lantern skipped about from stump to stump, 
and would pursue me forever. It proved, however, to be 
only a hollow pumpkin, cut in grotesque shapes, and il- 
luminated with the fragment of a tallow candle, placed 
upon the stump in boyish mischief, to frighten those 
younger than themselves. 

One of our sports was that of training, in imitation of ' 
children of a larger growth. In this it was my high 
privilege to be the drummer, and many afternoons have 



H 

I spent, in patriotic ardor ? in thumping upon a tin pail for 
the purpose of extorting martial music. I found it a 
pursuit of patriotism under difficulties. 

In the winter time I had skates fastened to a board, 
on which I sat, with two sharp picks in my hands, 1 
could make good progress over the smooth ice in the 
pond near our house. To me the exercise was delight- 
ful, and I have often thought that I enjoyed it with quite 
as good a relish as the boys who could skate in the usual 
manner. 

My sled, too, was peculiar, for I had it so arranged 
that I could place my head down between the bars, and 
standing on my head, could steer, by swaying my body 
upon the one side or the other, as I found it necessary. 

In the summer time we had a boat of our own build- 
ing, in which to sail upon the pond I have mentioned. 
Here we pursued the Bullfrogs, which we called sharks; 
and on one occasion, when we had quite a party of girls 
in our craft, the boat rilled, and down we went among 
the sharks we had pretended so much to dread, but hap- 
pily to no great depth of water, but well plastered with 
the soft mud, the girls screaming and the boys shouting. 
I found my own progress very poorly promoted, con- 
sidering the great exertions I put forth. 

While watching the cattle in the fields, I have often 
amused myself by singing various little ditties taught 
me by my grandfather, and among them, \a appropriate 
to my case, was the f blowing : 



16 



" Little boy blue, blow your horn, 
The sheep in the meadow, the cows in the corn, 
If this the way you tend the sheep, 
Under the hay cock, fast asleep? 
See how he stares!-' 

In one of my father's lumbering enterprises I took 
quite an active part, and in which I came near losing 
my life. While the logs were being rolled from the 
bank of the river, for the purpose of rafting, one of the 
logs rolled beyond the reach of the pick-pole, and float- 
ed into the rapid current of the river. 

An old, dry boat was on the shore, a little way off, and 
this another boy and myself launched, for the purpose 
of rescuing the stray log. We overtook it, and I seized 
:t for the purpose of holding it fast to the boat, while the 
Doy should paddle us to the shore. But his strength was 
insufficient, and we were floating off into the boiling 
current of the centre of the river, while we thought from 
the little impression we made upon the log, that it was 
fast upon a rock. My father saw the peril we were in, 
and called to us to leave the log and come to the shore. 
As we struck clear from the log, we noticed, for the first 
time, that the boat was nearly filled with water, and it 
v/as only by the greatest efforts of which we were capa- 
ble, that we reached the shore before the boat become, too 
much water-logged to bear our slightest tread, while 
neither of us could swim. 

But time rolled on and the sunny season of childhood 



17 



was pas&'ng away, and those who had formed the nappy 
circle of \ssociates and fri suds, were one by one going 
away to the more earnest pursuits of life. I, too, was 
growing too old to be interested in the amusements ot 
other and childish days. I began to feel that life, even 
to me, was real and earnest. I therefore devoted my 
time to reading and study. I tasked myself to read 
three chapters in the Bible every day, and five chapters 
every Sabbath. In this way I have read the Bible 
through in course, three times, each time occupying a 
year. 

I turned my attention to politics, and very eagerly read 
all the arguments I could find on both sides, and watched 
the course of State and National legislation, and the 
measures and policy of their administrations. Political 
parties have become so mixed and mingled, that the only 
planks in my platform that are worth preserving, are, the 
Union of the States, and American Liberty, and genuine 
Republicanism. 

It gave me great satisfaction to make myself useful 
upon the farm to the extent of my ability. I could 
watch the cattle feeding and keep then from 1C, un- 
harvested grain : could 'uJLs the care of the poultry, and 
perform such like service. In these duties I often had 
the companionship of my books. 

My attention was turned to machinery, and the study 
gave me great pleasure. I constructed a carriage for my 
own use, on which I travelled by working with lever*, 
2* 



i-8 

This, however, always eenied to me very much like 
working my passage. After a time I saw a carriage 
propelled by the use of treadles, which at once com- 
mended itself to my judgment, and I then resolved that 
at some time I would be the happy possessor of so de- 
sirable an article. 

My father at length died, and the whole current of my 
life was broken up. For a year I remained in the home 
which had sheltered me for thirty years. I now came 
'n possession of the little patrimony left me by my fa- 
ther. I began to feel the sense of freedom, and the ne- 
cessity of relying on my own resources. The world be- 
gan to open before me. I must now think and decide 
and act for myself. One of my sisters was settled in 
the country, and I went to board with her, occupying a 
portion of each summer in visiting my friends. 

In the year 1849 I took a journey to Northport, to visit 
my grandfather on my mother's side. The old gentle- 
man, though about eighty years of age, was hale and 
hearty, and up to that time had been actively engaged 
in farming, and swung his scythe with his son, with 
whom he then was living. I spent a month here very 
pleasantly ; and here I met a lady who so far interested 
herself in my behalf as to recommend me to the de- 
lights of matrimony, and to name an acquaintance of 
hers whom she thought a fit person to be my life-com- 
panion. The idea to me was a novel one. It first ap- 
peared rather ludicrous, but the more I pondered upon 



19 



t the more desirable it seemed ; and at length I felt thd 
truth that it was not good for man to be alone, and the 
kindness of the great Parent of all in making a help- 
meet for man, I began now to feel more sensibly than 
ever the need of a companion — a wife to share with- me 
life's weal or woe. 

On my return to Bangor the cholera was raging in all 
its malignancy. The burial of the dead was going on 
rapidly, and without ceremony. Those taken sick at 
night were sometimes buried in the morning. I re- 
mained two days in the city, and then thought it prudent 
to flee to my sister's home in Bradford. The stage was 
crowded, and every one seemed to be fleeing from the 
city as for their lives. I observed that all my fellow 
passengers had business in the country, and had no 
thought of fleeing from death or disease — no ! not 
they, one of them ! 

I was quite haunted with the idea of at least seeing 
the lady who had been recommended to me at North- 
port, and in whom, though known only by reputation, I 
felt that I had an interest. 

Time rolled on, and the following summer I visited 
my friends in Greenbush, where I spent about a month 
with a sister. On my return home I was to pass the 
dwelling of the lady who had occupied so many of my 
night and my day dreams. I felt a desire and an irre- 
pressible curiosity to see her. Who could tell — perhaps 



20 

In her all my ideal fancies of human happiness might 
be perfected; and yet my own heart would cowardly 
whisper that perhaps my suit might be rejected. But 
"faint heart never won fair lady," I repeated to myself 
and resolved, at whatever hazard, at least to see her. 
Her residence was in Orono, and I visited her at her 
home. 

I called at the house and introduced myself, and was 

introduced to Mrs. Ann Maria . In the interview 

during the afternoon and evening, I became highly 
pleased with her personal appearance, her intelligence 
and good sense. The acquaintance thus formed ripened 
into affectionate and mutual regards ; and on the twenty- 
second of May, 1852, we were united in holy wedlock 
by Rev. Philip Weaver, in the city of Bangor. 

After making a journey among our friends, we boardea 
for a while in the family of a neighbor, and at length 
commenced housekeeping, having the furniture and 
other matters better adapted to our size than we could 
find in other fs »n;iles, in all of which the members seem 
to be of inconvenient height. My wife is only eleven 
inches taller man myself, and we find our new home 
convenient and happy. My own age is thirty-eight, and 
the age of my wife is thirty-three years ; while my 
height is thirty-six inches, and that of my wife is forty- 
seven. I ought, perhaps, to add, that our respective 
heights we find well adapted to the enjoyment of life, 



21 

though my own disability does not permit of my per- 
forming that amount of labor, or of being so useful to 
myself and the world as I could wish. 

The proprietors of the Flying Horses at one time en- 
gaged with me to spend a week in attendance at their 
exhibition in Market Hall, in Bangor. It was warm 
weather, and to save the trouble of getting out my car- 
riage, and wheeling myself home every nigkt, I conclud- 
ed to camp in the hall. 

I was aroused from a comfortable sleep in the first of 
the nignt by measured and soft footsteps, and by the clink 
of a chain. I listened, and the footsteps were near me. 
I had taken two of the settees, and faced them together, 
and within the enclosure formed by their railed backs 
and *nds, I had lain myself down to sleep. On hearing 
the ^oise, it occurred to me that a large black bear, on 
exhibition with myself and the Flying Horses, a trio of 
attrition ! was confined in a corner of the Hall, and I at 
on*se concluded that he had disengaged himself, and was 
perambulating the premises. I raised my head, but not 
**i object could I see, for the darkness was impenetrable. 
A could not see my own hand. But I heard a stealthy 
ritep on the floor, and a rustle of paper, and instantly 
dodged my head, and shrunk to the back of my crib, in 
the hope that old Bruin would not discover my retreat. 
I listened intently, and would occasionally hear the chain 
move, and then a soft step near me. I drew myself into 



22 

the smallest possible compass, anc ready for a spring, 
should the bear lay his paw upon me, for I now felt sure, 
that he had slipped his cable, or from some cause had 
drifted away from his moorings. The darkness was im- 
penetrable, and to me perfectly awful. The public clock 
told how solemnly and slowly the hours passed on. I 
was in an agony of suspense, and felt that every instant 
I was liable to be seized in a death struggle with the 
huge bear, now loose in the Hall. The hour of twelve 
was heavily pealed from the church tower, and still no 
prospect of relief, and I felt that by the morning light I 
should be the merest skeleton of woe. I was aroused by 
a loud rapping, and on opening my eyes, found the Hall 
brilliantly illuminated by the rays of the morning sun 
pouring in, and the cry of my friends that I must have 
slept soundly! The dreaded bear was secure in his 
place, and all my trepidation had arisen from the unex- 
pected and unknown presence of a large torn cat in the 
Hall. 

Many persons, regarding me as a curiosity, have ex- 
pressed a desire to know something of my history, and to 
gratify this curiosity, and hoping thereby, innocently and 
fairly, to tax my brain for a living, which my physical 
powers might fail to earn, and for which I do not wish to 
be dependent upon charity, I have written this memoir, 
and offer it to those who, from curiosity or any worthy 
motive, may choose to purchase Tt will cost them but a 



23 

few pence, while the aggregate sum may secure me from 
want, and the griping hand of poverty. 

My mother had two children besides myself, with like 
peculiarity. They were both girls ; one of them died at 
the age of nineteen, and the other at the age of twenty- 
two years. 

There have been many conjectures and speculations 
as to the cause of my peculiarity of form, but none of my 
family were ever able to account for it, and to my parents 
it was ever a mystery. 

It has been said to me, " Well, my friend, you are very 
unfortunate." And this sentiment is, probably, generally 
entertained by those who see me, as similar expressions 
often greet my ear. From one point of view this may be 
correct. But every condition, every disability in life, not 
the result of the transgression of the law of right and 
purity, has something in it of a compensating character. 
I may say, then, that I have not yet discovered wherein 
I am very much more unfortunate than others. 

Solomon says that we brought nothing into this world, 
and it is certain that we can carry nothing out. I have 
always had wherewithal to eat, and to drink, and to wear, 
and the means of the personal improvement of my mind. 
How, then, am I unfortunate ? There are thousands and 
tens of thousands, who are having a harder time to get 
through the world than I have thus far endured. The 
truly unfortunate are only those who at the final account 
«hall be found morally bankrupt 



24 

In conclusion, permit me to say in the language of the 
Word of God, in a case somewhat applicable to my own, 
" Neither did this man sin, nor his parents, that he was 
born blind, but that the power of God might be made 
manifest in him." 




L'BRARY OF CONGRESS 



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